Let me tell you about a boy named Leo. He is eight. Does not talk much. When he gets upset, he bangs his head on the wall. Really hard. His mum puts pillows on the wall to try and stop it. He moves to the door. She puts padding on the door. He finds the floor.
His mum is scared all the time. She stops sleeping. She stops going out. She thinks she is a mum.
Someone tells her about Positive Behaviour Support. She is not sure what that means. She thinks it is another term that will not help. She is tired. So she tries.
A woman comes to the house. She sits on the floor with Leo. She watches him. She asks the mum questions. When does he bang his head? Before lunch? After a bath? When the TV is loud? When you are on the phone?
The mum writes everything down for a week.
It turns out Leo bangs his head when he is overtired. That is it. Not angry. Not sad. Just tired. He cannot say "I am tired". So he bangs.
The practitioner teaches Leo a sign. Two fingers together mean tired. She teaches the mum to watch for signs. Rubbery eyes. Yawning. Fidgeting.
It takes three months. The head banging stops. Now Leo does the sign. His mum puts him down for a nap. No more banging.
That is Positive Behaviour Support. It is not magic. It is just paying attention.
So what is this thing exactly?
Positive Behaviour Support is not punishment. It is not about making someone behave because they are scared of getting in trouble. It is about finding out why a behaviour happens and then teaching a way.
The NDIS funds this. It is under Capacity Building. Usually called Relationships or Behaviour Support. You need a practitioner to come and do an assessment. Then they write a plan. If the plan uses practices, things like holding someone or locking a door it has to be approved by the NDIS. Most plans do not need that stuff.
The main idea is simple. Behaviour is communication. When someone hits screams, runs away or hurts themselves they are trying to tell you something. They cannot use words. So they use their body.
Your job is to figure out the message. Then teach a way to send it.
Who actually needs this?
Anyone who has behaviour that's dangerous or hard to live with. Kids, adults, people. It does not matter.
It is very common for people with autism. Intellectual disability. Dementia. Brain injury. Really anyone who cannot say what they need.
The NDIS does not give this to everyone. You need to show that the behaviour is putting you or others at risk. That it stops you from doing things like going to the shops or seeing your friends. Your support coordinator can help you ask for it.
What happens in life?
First a practitioner watches. They might come to your home. Your school. Your work. They watch for a day. They write down everything. What happened before the behaviour. What happened after. Who was there. What time of day. This is called a functional behaviour assessment.
Second they try to figure out why. There are four reasons.
- One, to get something. Like attention. A toy. Food. A break.
- Two, to get away from something. Like a noise. A hard task. A person they do not like. A bright light.
- Three, because it feels good in their body. Some people rock back and forth because it calms them. Some people tap their head because it feels nice. Some people flap their hands. That is fine. We only change it if it hurts someone.
- Four, because something hurts. A sore tooth. A headache. Constipation. Ear infection. This one gets missed all the time. I have seen a kid who screamed for two years. Turned out he had a hair wrapped around his toe. True story.
Third they write a plan. The plan has two parts.
- One part is about changing the environment. If noise causes screaming make it quieter. If hunger causes hitting bring snacks. If tiredness causes head banging change the nap schedule. That is not giving in. That is being smart.
- The other part is about teaching skills. How to ask for a break. How to use pictures of hitting. How to wait. How to say "I am tired". Small skills. Learned slowly.
Fourth everyone learns the plan. Parents, teachers support workers. They all have to do the thing. If one person does it differently it confuses the person. That is why families struggle sometimes. Not because the plan is bad. Because everyone is not doing the thing.
What it is not?
I need to clear up some confusion.
It is not about ignoring behaviour. Some old ideas said you should just ignore a tantrum and it will stop. That is not this. Ignoring can make things worse.
It is not about rewards all the time. Sometimes rewards help at the start. A sticker for using a picture card. A high five for tapping of screaming. That is fine. The goal is not to bribe someone. The goal is for them to learn skills so they do not need rewards.
It is not about making someone act normal. If a person flaps their hands and it helps them feel calm there is no reason to stop that. Positive Behaviour Support only focuses on behaviour that hurts someone or stops them from living a life.
How long does it take?
This is the truth. It takes time. Weeks. Months. Sometimes years.
You will not see a change overnight. The first few weeks are just figuring out what is happening. Then you try changes. Some work. Some do not. You try again. Slowly the bad behaviour gets less. The new skills start to show up.
Leo from the start of this story took three months to stop banging his head. He still has days. Everyone does. Do not expect zero. Expect less. That is success.
How to find someone
This matters a lot. A bad practitioner can make things worse. A good one can change your life.
Look for someone registered with the NDIS. You can check the provider register online.
Ask questions before you hire them. How long have you been doing this? Who do you usually work with? Do you come to our home? Do we come to you? What happens if the plan does not work? How often will you check in?
Trust your gut. Do they listen to you? Do they act like they know everything without asking? Do they talk about your loved one with respect? Do they sound like they are talking about a problem to be fixed?
A good practitioner will spend a lot of time just listening. They will ask about what the person likes. What makes them laugh. What is their favourite food? Not what they struggle with.
How the NDIS pays for it?
You need to ask for this funding at your planning meeting. Tell them why you need it. Be specific. Say something like "my son hits himself when he is frustrated. We cannot keep him safe". My daughter runs out of the house at night. We are scared she will get hurt.
The NDIS usually funds a number of hours for the assessment. Then more hours for support. The practitioner might come once a week or once a month to check in and adjust the plan.
If the plan uses practices it has to be registered with the NDIS. That is a process. Most families never need this.
A story that sticks with me?
I know a woman named Helen. Her daughter is twenty-five. She has a disability. She used to pull her hair out. Not just a little. Big clumps. Her head had spots. Helen tried everything. Gloves. Hats. Medicine. Nothing worked.
They found a behaviour support practitioner. She came to the house. She watched. She asked questions. She figured out that the hair pulling happened when the daughter felt ignored. Like when Helen was on the phone. Cooking dinner. Talking to a friend.
So they taught the daughter a way to get attention. Tap someone on the shoulder. That is all. Just tap.
It took a year. A whole year. The hair pulling stopped. Completely stopped. Now the daughter taps shoulders. Helen turns around. Says hello. Everyone is happy.
That is what Positive Behaviour Support can do. It is not fast. It works.
What to do if you want to start?
Talk to your support coordinator if you have one. They can help you find a practitioner and ask for funding.
If you do not have a support coordinator call the NDIS. Tell them you want behaviour support. They will help you.
You can also search online for NDIS registered behaviour support practitioner, near me. Call a few. Ask if they do a chat first. Most will say yes.
Before the appointment write down what you want to change. What does the behaviour look like? How often does it happen? What have you tried? What makes it better? What makes it worse? The more you write down the faster they can help.
One last thing...
Positive behaviour support takes time and effort. It is not a fix. It really works. I have seen it work times.
The main thing to keep in mind is that behaviour does not define a person.
For instance if someone screams or hits that does not tell you who they really are.
Under all that behaviour is a person who has trouble saying what they need.
We should help them find a way to express their needs.
Be patient and kind, to them.
Don't give up on helping.
Small steps can really help.
One day you will look back. See how far you have come.
📍 Horizon Care Support — practical NDIS guidance on Positive Behaviour Support. Real stories, real understanding.